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Jim's Jottings


It sounds right, but the answers can be weird



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November 30, 2011 - Entering one of the military services, taking tests for employment or completing sixth grade tests are supposedly ways for higher-ups to judge and assign their people.

I remember my older brother, who earned his livelihood selling men's clothing before going into the Navy, and being sent to the engine room (black gang, they were called in 1942) of a ship.

This came to mind when I learned our granddaughter, Haley, had to complete a questionnaire, on-line or at school, that would show her qualifications and pinpoint a career direction.

Haley is an active sixth-grader. She takes piano lessons, plays volleyball, soccer and softball and has an all-A report card.

She, her mother, grandfather and probably a teacher or two might be surprised, or disappointed, to learn Haley is best suited for becoming a "flavored vodka maker."

How in the Hell could that even be listed as a possible career for a 12-year-old? I can just see her listing that on her applications for scholarships. Of course, she could be extremely popular at tailgate parties, collegiate or professional.

But, seriously folks, if you're not from Napa Valley, California, France or Italy who would think of adding making flavored vodka to the list of possible career choices? Especially, if the two generations before you came from Oxford, Michigan?

If this list-maker insists on this kind of career for the not-yet teenage locals, perhaps they could substitute making dandelion wine for flavored vodka.

Dandelions are a locally grown product, pretty, and fit the environment-saving description of the greenies and governmental protection agencies.

After asking Haley's mother and aunt if they had such career tests when they were 12-years-old, both said they had. And, both were diagnosed as perfect for auto mechanics.

So, why are they working with their brother running Sherman Publications?

They could make so much more money in a dealership garage. Oh, maybe making money was not their goal.

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People working at selling us ground turkey are telling us to be sure it's cooked to 165 degrees. Why is the temperature so important for cooking turkey, and not ground beef?

Did our president, Obama, tell us recently we citizens are not capable of handling our own lives, we must depend on the government?

A good sign we can't take it with us is: You never see a luggage rack on a hearse.

Only a politician can try to convince we voters that a reduction in the proposed budget increase is a savings.

John B. said he was at a wedding party recently when someone yelled, "All married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living." The bartender was crushed to death.

When learning to figure skate, try skating like Caesar's Roman legions did. Relaxing at European lakes, they conquered skating figure VIIIs.

"Medical researchers can't realistically expect to find a cure quicker than Mom kissing the place that hurts." -- Shirley C.

Jim Sherman, Sr. is president of Sherman Publications, Inc. He has penned "Jim's Jottings" since 1955.
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