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Jim's Jottings

I think ma' dog Shayna lied to me

Plus Gov. Synder and the Outhouse

February 01, 2012 - I think ma' dog Shayna lied to me

I couldn't eat all the Fettuccini Alfredo with chicken I was served at 24th St. Tavern in downtown Oxford, so I took the balance home to ma'dog Shayna.

Other than adding a color variation, I have no idea why anyone would put pieces of broccoli in anything, especially a noodle dish.

Would this face lie to you? (click for larger version)
But there it was, pushed aside by my fork, and left in the carry-out box. I put it on the nose-high-to-Shayna counter.

I could take just so much of her sniffing and glancing at me, so I put the box on the floor.

Soon she came into the family room, licking here lips continuously.

I called her to me, held her head between my hands and made her look into my eyes and asked, "Shayna, did you eat the broccoli?"

Receiving no reaction, I asked louder, "SHAYNA, DID YOU EAT THE BROCCOLI?"

I felt her head nod. To verify her acknowledgment, I went to the kitchen to check the box.

Sprigs of broccoli were still there. Again I took her head in my hands and forced her to look into my eyes.

I scolded her forcefully, saying, "Shayna, you lied to me!"

She pulled away, a little, dropped her head, and while turning away gave me a glance that in dog language said, "Yeah! Gotchya! Won another round!"

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We all know our electeds have established way too many bureaus, which have adopted way too many regulations.

Governor Snyder made reference to it recently, saying, "My barber didn't know the size of a barber's wastebasket and the number of times it is emptied is in state regulations."

No one in my barbershop knew it either, and one is just out of barber school.

To make his point, Gov. Snyder said the Department of Environmental Quality has 28 regulations for outhouses.

The Gov. added, Michigan Occupational Safety and Health Administration has another 17 outhouse regulations, including a rule that the toilet seats not be left up.

Outhouses, in the first dozen years of my life, were holes in a wooden plank. Most had three holes, small, medium and large. And, we had a Sears catalog for paper.

Once in a while dad put some corn cobs in there as a joke.

Proves again, that when government establishes a committee or bureau, they gotta come up with something to justify their existence. Too often I believe, that something is never read or even understood.

Gov. Snyder concluded his remarks by saying, "We need environment (regulations) that are conducive to business growth and job creation while making sure we are properly protecting our citizens."

But Governor, wasn't it a good thing that an agency made us put oru "out" house "in" houses?

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• If you get the chance, listen to Steve Martin playing the banjo and singing, "Atheists Ain't Got No Song."

• Statistic: The average age of a car in the United States is nearly 11 years. Ten years ago I think it was 3.

• Called daughter Luan the other evening. Her husband Bob thinks that if he's home he should answer the phone. I asked him to ask Luan what she thought of me calling eHarmony-dot-com. He said, "There is no match for you!" I hung up.

Jim Sherman, Sr. is president of Sherman Publications, Inc. He has penned "Jim's Jottings" since 1955.
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