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Jim's Jottings

Conway & Korman, loved & remembered

An oldie, but goodie from 2006

May 02, 2012 - Editor's Note: Mr. Sherman was away trout fishing last week, so that left him no time to pen a new column. So, we're runing this oldie, but a goodie from May 2006. Enjoy.

Harvey Korman is 79. Tim Conway is 72. Ninety percent of the people who came to see them at the Soaring Eagle Casino were in the same age bracket.

These are the people who watched the duo perform for many years on the Carol Burnett television show. They did single and double skits then, and they're doing the same in their public appearances now.

We who made up the majority of the audience last week in Mt. Pleasant, let nostalgia reign, and absorbed the current acts perhaps even more than the originals.

A much younger couple sat at our table, and got as much laughter and appreciation from the stage humor as we did. The skits and comments were understandable and were probably made especially funny because the audience could relate. Toward that end, the "aging" comments, like gravity's affect on the body, the need for Depends and the fact that sleep and rest more often wins over other activities.

In the background the Carol Burnet Show theme is aired while Tim Conway does one of his old man shuffling routines. At the closing they ask the audience for a favorite Conway skit, and didn't accept any until someone called for the "dentist" skit.

For non-knowers, Conway plays a student dentist who, while working on Korman, sticks himself in the hand, head, leg and hip with a hypodermic needle of Novocaine. It's a bumbling, but very funny routine, though undoubtedly you had to be there to appreciate it.

But, the 3,000 in the auditorium started laughing as soon as the suggestion came from the audience.

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I swore to myself (which isn't all that unusual) I would never watch major league baseball again, particularly the way the Detroit team played in recent years.

However, just to tell you what I think of the offerings of television these days, I lifted my clicker finger as it on hit on recent Tigers' game. Pudge Rodriquez, the catcher was at bat. After every pitch, whether strike or ball, swung at or not, he made the sign of the cross. He got a hit.

As soon as he got back to first, after rounding the bag, he went through this routine: Sign of the cross, raised a single open hand and his eyes to the sky, then scratches himself . . . you know where. It's the place all baseball players scratch until they think they have broken the record for scratches per pitch.

You see, there's nothing else to do while waiting for the pitcher to resin his hands, stare at the catcher, stretch and scratch before releasing the ball. And now you know why baseball is billed as the great American pastime.

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Now, direct from the UP's Porcupine Press, Great truths that little children have learned:

1. No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize a cat.

2. When your Mom is mad at our Dad, don't let her brush your hair.

3. You can't trust a dog to watch your food.

4. Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.

5. If your sister hits you, don't hit back. They always catch the second person.

6. Never ask your 3-year-old brother to hold a tomato.

7. Never hold a dust-buster and cat at the same time.

8. You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.

9. Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.

10. The best place to be when you're sad is in Grandpa's lap.

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Laughing stock: Cattle with a sense of humor.

Jim Sherman, Sr. is president of Sherman Publications, Inc. He has penned "Jim's Jottings" since 1955.
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