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Jim's Jottings


A column of quotes, misquotes & anecdotes



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June 13, 2012 - • More and more drivers seem to have time to put their hand on the horn, but no time to put their foot on the brake.

• Bob Warnke says: "What ever fluffs your sail." I thought it was "whatever floats your boat."

• I should add up the time and money ma'dog Shayna has saved me by her cleaning my plate instead of me using the dish washer.

• Read any Bounty paper towel rolls lately? Like: You can bury a lot of troubles digging in the dirt. Friends are flowers in life's garden. No two days are the same, no two gardens the same. Gardening is a way of showing you believe in tomorrow.

• Every spring we plant two geraniums in the planter by Hazel's tombstone. Within a week they were gone, but on the ground was a small 3-tined digger.

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For 17 months in 1947-48, I was a confined to a sanitarium in Lansing with Tuberculosis. Hazel and I started dating seriously in 1946, and each weekend starting in May 1947 she took the bus to Lansing to visit me.

A gal of Hazel's age came from Alma each weekend to visit her husband, and Hazel and Luan Hercik became close friends.

One visit I asked Hazel to bring me a hot dog. She did that several evenings, handing them to me through a window.

Then one night Hazel handed me a live toad. I liked to have died. The two girls laughed heartily. I'd never handled a toad and never will. Hazel thought them cute playthings.

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• When our American flag is displayed as a lapel pin, it should be worn on the left lapel, near the heart.

• The U. S. flag, adopted on June 14, 1777, is the fourth oldest national flag in the world. Denmark's flag, adopted in 1219, is the oldest.

A flag expert is called a "vexillologist."

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The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.

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Garrison Keillor, host of the radio show "A Prairie Home Companion," put this one in his joke book:

Mahatma Gandhi walked barefoot every where, to the point that the soles of his feet became quite thick and hard.

Being a very spiritual person, he ate very little and often fasted. As a result, he was quite thin and frail. Furthermore, due to his diet, he ended up with very bad breath.

(Ready?)

Therefore, he came to be known as a super calloused, fragile mystic plagued with halitosis.

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When television news reporters are about to show war scenes or bad accidents, they often say, "Some of these pictures may be disturbing. You may want to avoid them."

I think that all tv political news reporting between now and November should have this same warning.

Jim Sherman, Sr. is president of Sherman Publications, Inc. He has penned "Jim's Jottings" since 1955.
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