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Jim's Jottings

Financial reporting by the two sexes

September 12, 2012 - It was a slow news night, and I decided to watch the evening news on something besides Fox. I switched to ABC and David Muir.

Financial news has been rather depressing, but I waited for some hope for change.

Muir's first interview was with a gal who appeared to have been designer dressed to emphasize and reveal.

She sat on about three inches of butt on a wooden chair extenuating her positives, front and back, facing Muir. She started by describing the "plunging" figures on Wall Street. Soon there was a hem line comparison as she said some technical stocks were "creeping" up.

The male stock reporter was next. He plops full on the chair, recites Dow Jones Industrial averages, says something about the Chinese and European markets and hints of a recessions, oil embargoes and wakens Muir.

The above view is from a male chauvinist pig.

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Consider the kind of burdens our military is bearing:

• In World War II, 11.2% of our nation served in four years.

• In Vietnam, 4.3 % served in 12 years.

• Since 2001, only 0.45% of our population has served in the Global War on Terror.

Over time, fewer and fewer people have shouldered more and more of the burden and it is only getting worse.

Our troops were sent to war in Iraq by a Congress consisting of 10% veterans with only one person having a child in the military.

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My partial "Aging" list:

• My wild oats have been turned into prunes and All Bran.

• It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.

• The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom.

• If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.

• It's not hard to meet expenses . . . they're everywhere.

• These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter. Then I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I'm here after.

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Sherman Publications hired Larry Hauxwell as a helper (printer's devil) over 50 years ago. He's still our pressman.

I wrote a Jottings column about Larry and his love of snakes in 1956. That summer Larry found three blue racers at a peat farm south of Oxford.

Larry had to have them. He and his buddies brought them home and put them in the trunk of their car. The next day when they went to get the snakes, they found only two.

A couple days later they took the car to Pontiac. On their way back they picked up a hitchhiker, who took a seat in the back.

A little later their attention was drawn to the back seat by an imperceptible noise.

When they looked around they saw the hitchhiker's eyes were bulging, his white lips spread apart from a stifled scream, his hands were thrown upward and his face a solid white . ... and the missing blue racer was sliding across his lap.

Larry couldn't understand why the boy was all worked up.

Jim Sherman, Sr. is president of Sherman Publications, Inc. He has penned "Jim's Jottings" since 1955.
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