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Don't Rush Me

What do men want? I found the answers.

It is and it isn't what you think.

May 01, 2013 - Are you a skeptic? A realist? Are you a believer or are you in the wait-and-see holding pattern. Me, I am in the "I Want To Believe" group. At times, I am a top-notch skeptic, and other times I am shown things that get me shouting Hallelujah! (on the inside).

If you are into conspiracies you believe there are no such things as coincidences -- the occurrence of separate events that "happen" at the same time seemingly by accident are really somehow connected. So, dear reader, you tell me if the following is a coincidence or something more . . .

* * *

Last week I happened to read one of my favorite sections of The Lake Orion Review -- the part that announces all sorts of things to do around town. Three bolded words caught my attention: "What Men Want." After reading said announcement I immediately thought: Genius. Pure Genius. Then I thought: Why didn't I think of that!

Get this: Join "Q & A" for 40's-50's Fun-Loving Single Ladies . . . the night will include four handsome, successful, single fathers giving candid answers to questions about dating, relationships, love and sex. There will also be a delightful assortment of finger foods and mini-pastries. Cash Bar. Tickets are for sale, and space is limited, so sign up early . . . Ladies, please have your questions ready. Visit www.meetupblahblahblah.blah for pictures/ info on the panel of speakers.

So, these four dudes rent a room, place a free notice in the paper, build urgency by saying "space limited," "sign up early," spice things up with the words, "relationships, love and sex," supply food and a cash bar. These four dudes are gonna' have 20 to 30 ladies pay to meet them.

These guys are surely evil geniuses (does that make them evil geni?).

* * *

At this point in my life (which was last week) I was still in the skeptic mode. Then I got the following e-mail from a Clintonville Road area resident.

"Don, My name is Jim O'Brien and I wanted to reach out about a craft show Saturday, May 4 at Clarkston High School. I've created something called Man Medals and will have them for sale next week."

He then added the following, which some would assume means I have free rein to poke fun.

"Would love your thoughts on these!"

So, I replied back to Jim something like this: "Jim, what gave you the idea? Is there a love lost because the terlit lid was left open. Jim, with a good manly Irish last name like O'Brien (descendant of the last great king of Ireland, Brian Boru) why are you doing crafts? It sounds so unmanlike? Do you have a real job?"

I know I was a little rough on Jim-Jim, but hey, he asked me what I thought. I reckoned Jamie wouldn't write back.

But he did!

It seems our boy Jimbo does have a real job and really manly job. He does sports on 94.7 WCSX in the mornings. And, he spent nine years in the US Navy. He's been happily married, and not henpecked, he says to his "lovely bride" Kathy for 20 years. And, how did his craft come to be? I will let him tell you.

"Whenever I took the trash out, or picked up my laundry -- I'd announce with great pride what I had done. Her response? 'What, do you want a medal?'"

So, the story goes .. . one day boy'o Jim actually answered his wife, "Yes." Which got him thinking.

Now he has five or six 1.5-inch medals recognizing such accomplishments as: I took the trash out; I picked up my laundry; I put the toilet seat down; I ran the vacuum; I put the toilet paper roll on; I asked for directions; and the newest, "Coming Home To Be a Daddy." This last medal is for men serving in the military. Ten percent of each $5 sold goes to the Fallen and Wounded Soldiers Fund in Michigan."

* * *

So, in the quest to know What Men Want, was it merely coincidence that these two opportunities were laid at my feet or something more mystically motivated? And, what is the answer to the question?

It would seem, single fathers want fun loving 40-50-year-old women. Married dudes, they just want acknowledgment of their existence and a medal would do just fine, thank you!

Don is Assistant Publisher for Sherman Publications, Inc. He has worked for the company since 1985. He has won numerous awards for column, editorial and feature writing as well as for photography. He has two, sons Shamus and Sean and resides in the area. To read archived copies of his columns, click on his name, just under his picture up top . . . He can be e-mailed at: don@dontrushmedon.com
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