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Andrea's Anecdotes A column by Andrea Beaudoin


Get help early



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July 31, 2013 - As beautiful as humanity can be-it can equally ugly - but these kinds of things must be talked about.

I know this girl who was severely sexually abused for quite some time as a child by her mother's boyfriend. The man was sentenced on the girl's birthday to 40-60 years in prison, but the worst part for the girl was yet to come.

In an article in a large publication, at the man's sentencing the reporter documented the mother telling the judge, "I just want him to get help and come home." That's right, the mother stood by the man's side. Even though the mother was not married to the man when he was convicted, she married him while he was in prison.

Each week for two years after the sentencing, the girl was forced to accompany her mother to Jackson Prison, a very scary place for an 11-12 year-old. Some of the things she saw while visiting the prison she would like to forget. In one of those visits, the perpetrator and the mother got married, the victim sat and watched the ceremony.

The man wrote the girl letters, and had similar types of prison friends write her letters too. He signed the letters, "dad." Behind closed doors the mother blamed the girl for what happened, and would call her every nasty name a girl could be called.

As you can imagine the girl grew to not trust others, and was also emotionally detached.

She never received counseling for several ordeals, which are far too many to be explained here. She ignored her feelings for a long time, and she pretended it didn't bother her much. As she grew older she realized the wounds she always tried to ignore were much deeper than she knew. Still she remembers how he threatened to kill her, or chased her through the woods, or all the other bad things. Memories that would never fade.

The girl has a message to others who have faced similar circumstances. Don't wait until you are older to seek help. If you do it will damage your life in ways you can never imagine. It effects everything - every relationship, connections to people close to you and the connection you have to yourself.

Get help while young or things like these will keep hurting you.

Staff writer
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