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Jim's Jottings

The pessimist, the optimist and a Kalohn

January 08, 2014 - I think it was the mid-70's when I first learned there was a Pete Kalohn.

He cooked and talked in his father's restaurant in Lake Orion, Gus' Steak House until he opened his own Restaurant, Pete's Roadhaus in Lake Orion.

During all these years his only attempt at silence was when he swallowed.

He's an authority on everything. Yet during one of his sipping moments he said something that never left my mind.

It's so vivid, especially during these Obama years.

Pete stood as straight as he could in front of me, pointed his finger to my face and said very sternly, "Cheat me if you want to, BUT DON'T LIE TO ME!"

Oh, hell, Barrack's lying is unstoppable.

* * *

I gotta get back to something more Jottings "topical."

And that would be toilet paper and its decreasing. The first documented use of toilet paper was in the 6th century. By whom? Of course, Chinese.

It was promoted as, "The greatest necessity of the age! Gayetty's medicated paper for the water closet."

The average American uses 50 pounds of toilet paper a year, and about 8 sheets per trip. (I don't make this stuff up.)

Twenty-six billion rolls of toilet paper, worth about $2.4 billion are sold yearly in America.

Perforated toilet paper was patented in February 13, 1883.

Scott has now reduced the sheet size in sheet rolls to 4.1 inch wide to 3.7 inch long.

They say they also increased the strength, so I reduced my regular usage from 4 to 3 leafs.

* * *

Two quotes from two goad man.

Winston Churchill: "Never engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed man."

Ronald Reagan often told the following story:

"The parents of two boys, one an incurable pessimist and the other an incurable optimist took their sons to the doctor. Their physician took the pessimist into a room brimming with mountains of new toys.

"The doctor said, 'These are all yours!' The pessimist boy burst into tears. 'What's wrong?' his parents asked, 'If I play with these toys surely one will break and be ruined.'

"Next the doctor tried his hand with the young optimist. Instead of toys the doctor took him into a room filled with horse dung. 'This is for you,' the doctor told him.

"With that, the boy smiled, so wide he could have eaten a banana sideways. Excited, he raced to the top of the mountain of manure and started digging with his bare hands.

"The observing father asked, 'Son, what in heaven's name do you think you are doing?'

"'Well,' the boy replied, 'with all this horse dung, I figured there's got to be a pony in there somewhere!'"

Jim Sherman, Sr. is president of Sherman Publications, Inc. He has penned "Jim's Jottings" since 1955.
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