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Guest Columnist

Life's little 'loco'isms in locomotion

July 22, 2009 - Before some of you fact checkers write me to explain that locoism is a disease cattle contract by eating loco weed and a malady not inflicted on humans, let me assure you that there are some in our society who dine on this delicacy everyday based on their actions. There are a lot of loco activities going on in our world and frankly there are days when I too join the ranks of those crazy, frenzied folks. Let me give you an example of what is making me a bit askew:

• Our cable provider AT&T just offered us one month of free service for Encore and Showtime. Two months ago we took the free HBO offer for two months. After two months of "Caddy Shack" and "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory" reruns, we decided to cancel. Now, after just two days of Showtime we are ready to cancel again. What pushed us over the top was a rerun of "How The Grinch Stole Christmas" – in July no less! So come tomorrow we will return to our regular programming. Frankly, we don't need 300 channels anyway!

• Just unpacked a ceiling fan for installation in our family room and as luck would have it, two of the light fixtures were shattered. A call to the fan company had replacements sent to us but when the new lights arrived, the wrong ones were in the package. Another call to a different rep caught the error and new lights are on the way. I'll let you know if the second time is the charm but normally it takes three times, doesn't it!

• Have you seen where some of the bailed-out companies are now prepared to pay extravagant bonuses to staff members? Senior management reconciles this idiotic practice as a way to "prevent talented people from leaving the organization."

If these people were so talented, why was the company in financial trouble! I say prohibit bonuses and let these people leave and then let them find a job especially in Michigan where unemployment is at 15 percent and rising!

•Just as in the business world where CEO's are obliged to retire at a predetermined age most likely at 65 years of age, the same should be accomplished in the political world. Do I really want some Senator or Representative in his or her 80s or 90s making decisions that will affect me or my children and grandchildren.

Absolutely not!

It is time for these dinosaurs to pack up their orthopedic underwear and hit the road! And I say that as a senior citizen myself! Now go ahead, write me, and tell me that I am discriminating against the aged. Candidly, anyone who is making laws in their 80s and 90s is discriminating against me because he or she no longer identifies with reality and the world I am living in!

• And speaking of senior citizens, how about the run 59 year old Tom Watson just made at the British Open! He forced a playoff after leading most of the time in the four-day event and then lost on the final playoff hole.

Well, time to give cable TV another try. Seems there's a showing of "The Maltese Falcon" with Humphrey Bogart coming on. Now that's real movie making!

Guest columnist Bill Kalmar is a Lake Orion resident and former director of Michigan Quality Council.

Bill is a guest columnist for The Review. He is from Lake Orion.
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