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Phil in the Blank A column by Phil Custodio


Predictions for 2010



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December 30, 2009 - With the new decade upon us (or close enough at least), how about some predictions:

Frustrated by a lack of progress on important Independence Township matters, Trustee Neil Wallace calls for bi-daily meetings of the Township Board. Meetings still go on past 1 a.m.

Realizing limiting information to a community including many of its own graduates insults everyone's intelligence, Clarkston Community Schools decides to post its entire financial record on the internet and launches a district-wide "Everyone shares their ideas with everyone else" campaign.

After having repaid their debt to society, the downtown Clarkston graffitists return to help finish the 5 South Main St. mural, this time putting clothes on their art figures. Artist Michelle Tynan is thrilled with their work.

Hearing this year's Fourth of July fireworks display planned for Clintonwood Park consists of one guy holding a sparkler, due to budget cuts, residents organize a road trip to Tennessee to get some decent aerials and rockets, along the way figuring out depending on government to celebrate political independence makes no sense.

In the face of record cold snaps in southern states, climatologists debunk global warming, but are shocked to discover something much worse Anthropomorphic Climate Reversal, where the equator freezes and the poles become sweltering tropics. Al Gore writes a new book.

Director James Cameron announces a sequel to his hit film "Avatar," in which humans return with bigger guns and rout Jake and the Na'Vi, whose coalition had since dissolved back into tribalism. A third film, completing the trilogy, is also planned, in which the Pandorans, having been placed on reservations across the planet, open a series of Floating Mountain and Tree of Life casinos, soaking humanity for all its worth.

Phil is editor for The Clarkston News. He is a veteran of the first Iraq war, having served in the U.S. Army.
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