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Jim's Jottings

First some comments, then my closer

May 05, 2010 - • It really spoils the image when I hear this country's leaders publicly use the worst curse words. An uncle once told me, "People swear when they aren't smart enough to think of clean words." That includes me, but it shouldn't allow our Vice President Biden and senior Senator Carl Levin to be so blatant.

• I wrote recently about the history of golf. I didn't include the historic shot I made in Hawaii. My drive sliced over a fence and into a back yard pool. I got bad looks from the swimmers, and they kept the ball.

• Recently, a doctor was talking about memory loss and what to do about it. I've taken to doing crossword puzzles to keep my mind active. The doctor said, "forget puzzles, and eat well and exercise." Crosswords are an exercise of sorts aren't they?

• For as long as I can remember, TGIF meant "thank goodness it's Friday." This week I heard a commercial for TGIFriday eateries. It's, "Thank God It's Friday." Almost blasphemy in my view.

• In a recent interview on CNN, our Gov. Granholm said, "We have reached rock bottom," and things are looking up. In her last state of the state message, Gov. Granholm said Michigan's future will, "Knock your socks off." She could have included shoes, too, being knocked off.

• In his stage routines Will Rogers showed a better understanding of politics than anyone.

Like: "Everything is changing. People are taking comedians seriously and politicians as a joke."

And, "I don't know jokes: I just watch the government and report the facts."

And, "I bet after seeing us, George Washington would sue us for calling him 'father.'"

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Brace Beemer, the radio Lone Ranger, who made his home in Oxford his last 23 years, was the youngest person to serve in World War I (14 years old), in the Rainbow Division.

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Now, how to call the police when you're old and don't move fast anymore.

George Phillips, from Meridian, Ms was going to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window.

George opened the door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.

He phoned the police who asked, "Is someone in your house?" He said "NO," but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing from me."

Then the police dispatcher said, "All patrols are busy. You should lock your doors and an officer will be along when one is available."

George said, "Ok."

He hung up the phone and counted to 30. Then he phoned the police again.

"Hello, I just called you a few minutes ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I shot and killed them both," and hung up.

Within five minutes, six police cars, a SWAT team, a helicopter, two fire trucks, a paramedic and an ambulance showed at the Phillips' residence and caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the policemen asked George, "I thought you said that you'd shot them?"

George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available."

Jim Sherman, Sr. is president of Sherman Publications, Inc. He has penned "Jim's Jottings" since 1955.
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