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Phil in the Blank A column by Phil Custodio

Tea? Try whiskey.

June 02, 2010 - Tea Party groups are organizing locally, a sign of some local residents' ire with national politics.

Seeking a symbol to rally behind against the Obama administration's nationalization efforts, they went with tea – the whole Boston Tea Party theme.

Their political opponents heard that and immediately thought of sex, and a way to call the Tea Party folks a vulgarism on national TV.

The response has been as galvanizing as anything the Tea Partiers can do. But I agree tea as a symbol of resistance hasn't held up over the years.

As a beverage, tea is weak, and it's British. Coffee would have been better, but opponents took that already as sort of an anti-Tea Party symbol.

How about whiskey? It's made of good, American corn. It's strong and powerful. It has American history behind it, with it's own rebellion.

Issues behind the Whiskey Rebellion of the 1790s even sound familiar, including taxes, federal power over citizens, and inadequate protection of the western frontier.

They'd have to work on the ending though. The original Whiskey Rebellion fizzled, ending with a show of force by the government and about 20 people arrested, all later acquitted.


Emperor Palpatine plunging into the depths of the second Death Star.

The eye of Sauron toppled from his perch atop the tower of Barad Dur.

The White Witch getting the business end of Aslan's teeth.

Voldemort rebounding yet another death spell off Harry Potter, this time with more permanent results.

The Wicked Witch of the West melting into a puddle of goo.

These scenes have been on my mind this past week, probably inappropriately so, along with cheering rebels, Middle Earthers, talking animals, wizards and witches, and Winkies.

The superintendent is (figuratively) dead! Long live the superintendent (once the school board decides who that is)!

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