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Jim's Jottings

Wandering through a day, wondering at night

August 25, 2010 - • Does the British Broadcasting Company (BBC) have as many American speaking news readers and commentators as ABC, Fox, CBS and NBC has Britishers? England's Christiana Amanpor is being promoted here lately.

• Do couples really have "Cialis" moments? You've seen the commercials.

• Seriously reader, don't you wonder sometimes how much money organizations like AARP, Humane Society, American Cancer Society, etc. have in the bank?

• I wish, and maybe you do too, that I had bought stock in the bottled water business. There are more discharged water bottles along the road sides than pop and beer cans. I have a hard time believing so many people believe water from a well is killing us. Personally, I vowed to never buy bottled water, then one day the beverage cart came along our golf fairway and I offered to buy my buddies a drink . . . knowing they'd want a beer. Before I realized it, I was buying bottled water. It's driven me to drink ever since.

• I'm starting a "happiness is" gig. I have pictures made of my grandchildren, ma'dog Shayna, fawns, and other normal things. Then I have "Happiness is watching fawn triplets frolicking in the yard," or some such thing printed on them. I send out about 50 at a time. It warms the cockles of my heart. I'm hoping to find our son in his office one of these days so I can caption a picture, "Happiness is seeing our son at work."

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• Ah, we voters can and rejoice and take comfort in House Speaker Nancy Pelosi achieving her promised goal of bringing integrity back into Washington, D.C.

• Ham and eggs - A day's work for chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.

• Sign in a veterinarian's office: Be back in five minutes: Sit! Stay!

• Speak softly and drive a Sherman tank.

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I wrote recently about my difficulty finding men's size 46 waist shorts. I found my size at Men's Warehouse. The woman who waited on me signs her name, Justa Martini. So, I signed my charge, Justa Manhattan.

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The first time I heard the poem, "The Indispensable Man," I was in high school in Vernon. I have repeated it many times and put it in Jottings a few more times. It's a 5-verse poem, the middle stanza tells the story of how we will be missed:

Take a bucket of water,

Put your hand in it, up to your wrist;

Pull it out, and the hole that's remaining,

Is the measure of how you'll be missed.

Re-read that all you egocentrics, or have someone read it to you.

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And another thing, officer, no one was driving. We were all in the back seat.

• Listening to the weather used to be fun when Sonny Eliot did it. Now they just amuse themselves. Like during all those days with 90+ degree temperatures -- weather readers would say in closing, "But, it will be cooling down! The high tomorrow will be 88."

Then they'd turn their head and chuckle.

• Lastly! Did I hear you say, "Finally?" Ma'dog Shayna started to run away again, chasing a fawn. It's her seventh time. Why would she run away . . . away from ice cream, car rides, bacon, dish licking, etc? I guess she finally got it through her blue-eyed head, and came home an hour later.

Jim Sherman, Sr. is president of Sherman Publications, Inc. He has penned "Jim's Jottings" since 1955.
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