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Jim's Jottings


Hang on! There's bound to be something relative



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September 29, 2010 - Hang on! There's bound to be something relative

I'm going to start thinking positive, but I know it won't work.

• I know it can't be just me, but when I see a headline on an editorial page that says something like "Michigan in need of hardy dose of reality" I first check the ending. If a professor is the author, I turn the page. Our president has chosen a whole lot of these learneds to run his cabinet. You know, the non- or even anti- business types, those with no business backgrounds and professional livers-off-the-doles.

• I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.

• Appearing before Congress Janet Napolitano bragged that since her going to Washington, as Secretary of Homeland Security, a lot more illegals have been deported than under the previous administration. What she doesn't compare is a ratio. Like how many are being deported compared to the number then and now who are crossing into our country illegally.

• When everything's coming your way you're in the wrong lane.

• Some agency, or other guesser, says our cities are headed for disastrous explosions. The gas pipe lines are old, decaying and gonna burst. There are miles and miles of these delivery lines under, say Detroit, and explosions are inevitable. As if it wasn't enough to be concerned of fish entering our Great Lakes, over weightedness, unemployment numbers, explosion of bed bug births, and, ah, oh, maybe that's what Detroit needs is some destructive, but non-killing explosions.

• Baby Boomers then and now - Then: Acid Rock. Now: acid reflux.

• I got a note recently from a former publisher of the Owosso Argus Press that a resident of Morrice is still complaining about the newspaper on his roof that was thrown there by me in 1943. What? No complaints about those I threw in bushes?

• Hard work never killed anybody, but why risk it.

• I've been a member, even a past president, of Oxford Rotary since 1955. Maybe because of we dress too casually (jacketless) that few of us wear our lapel pins anymore. I'm on an awareness committee that's promoting Rotary emblem exposure. So, I went through my vase of lapel buttons. There's the Lions Club, Disabled American Veterans, Masons, Veterans of Foreign Wars, Knights Templar, Michigan Press Association, Hole-in-one Club and Western Michigan University. I need huge lapels.

• Obama, et al in Washington, have banned light bulbs as we have known them since Edison. Starting in 2014 they cannot even be marketed. These bulb makers laid off about 30,000 employees in the U.S. recently. The only source for these less-light, higher-cost lights being forced on us are made in China. So much for the "Buy American" slogan. Killed by the president, lobbyists, greenies etc.

• Not bathing - another good form of birth control.

• Refereeing and umpiring should be preferred jobs. They can be wrong, but they aren't fined. They can cheat and not be called on it. Like at the Miami vs. Pittsburgh football game last week. Pittsburgh kicked the ball out of bounds on Miami's eleven and a half yard line. That's where the ump marked it with his foot. When the ball was moved they put it on the 12 yard line. Why not the 11 yard line? Ah, a favor being played? That's cheating. That's 18 inches Miami didn't have to go for a td. Ball and strike callers are frequently shown to miss a call. I say they should be sent to bed-bugged bed early with no supper.

• Never think of reasoning with a mule, whether it has four legs or only two.

Jim Sherman, Sr. is president of Sherman Publications, Inc. He has penned "Jim's Jottings" since 1955.
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