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Don't Rush Me

The run for Michigan's governorship

Virg Bernero or Rick Snyder . . . who will it be?

October 13, 2010 - So, like probably 18 percent of the voting population in the Great Lake State, I watched Sunday's "debate." Though, debate is stretching what I saw candidates for Michigan governor, actually do.

Now that I have forever lost that hour of my life (and as I get older, I realize every hour, every moment wasted is another hour or moment closer the time when I have no more hours or moments, so wasting them is foolish) I have no clearer vision on who the candidates are or were they stand.

What I heard from both Virg Bernero (Democrat from Lansing) and Rick Snyder (Nerd, I mean Republican from Ann Arbor) is "Blah, blah, blah, blah positive message;" and "Blah, blah, blah I can't afford what he has."

I had hoped to see a pitbull of a Bernero (his reputation). I wanted to see some fire, but I reckon his handlers told him not to be hisself, lest he upset the more timid among votership. I hoped to hear His Nerdlieness outline a plan, or at least give me something to consider. What I got out of both of them were sound bites that I see, hear and read everyday from their respective paid advertisements.

* * *

There wasn't much I liked about the "debate." And, since there was only one scheduled -- and that was it -- we'll not have another chance to watch our guys square off against each other. What we will get is crap thrown where nobody can rebut, save in another ad or on their own websites.

To see Don't Rush Me -- The Show! Click on www.'sshow-1/don/index.html
So, my score card on the "debate" is marked like this:

Style Points: Virg - 1; Nerd - 0

Appearance: Virg - 1; Nerd - 1

Substance: Virg - 0; Nerd - 0

Smile: Virg - 0; Nerd - 1

Totals: Virg - 2; Nerd - 2

In other words, on the tangibles, the boys are in a dead-heat. They are neck-and-neck in blahness. Which, may not be a bad thing. I don't know about you, but I was "wowed" enough by the current governor to last me a lifetime. Maybe less show and more do is a good thing for a governor.

* * *

Some notes I scribbled whilst watching this extravaganza of PBS productions. Which can be taken for the intangibles exhibited by the candidates.

1. Don't like Rick's collar, looks to highfalutin'' -- nice hair, though.

2. Don't whisper things around Virg you don't want him to hear. Ears.

Are those real? Virg, my man, those are some sound catchers! I am not saying they are of Dumbo proportions, but they do remind me of Pinocchio's ears when he started turning into a donkey.

Side note: Once I noticed his ears, I really couldn't focus on anything else during the "debate." I know, I am a shallow excuse for a human being. Once those ears showed themselves, I kept on trying to mentally compare them to those on every other human head for the rest of the night. It actually ruined me for the evening. I had to turn off the TV by 9 and start reading a book, where no ears were apparent.

3. I am not a goose. I do not squawk like one. As a resident of Michigan, I am a Michiganian. We are not Michiganders! Minus two points.

Both candidates used the term "Michigander." And, that bothers me. It is actually one of my pet peeves and as such, though a little thing, matters a lot to me. It bothers me so much, whenever I see it in an e-mailed press release (and we get a lot of 'em) I take the time and reply to the sender. I give them the history and tell them if they expect that to run in this newspaper, they better get the term correct. I forgive them, they are out-of-staters.

But, our own brothers; our own candidates for governor? Don't they know our state's history? Don't they know the term Michigander was coined by those louts in Ohio over 160 years ago?

When we -- Michigan -- were enroute to admittance to the Union, we petitioned to have our southern border go down to about Toledo, Ohio. Which, didn't make Ohioans too happy. In the end, they won Toledo (we got the Upper Peninsula as a runner up prize), we complained, they said we squawked like geese and called us Michiganders.

Since I took away two points from each candidate based on Michigander comments, on my score card, they are both tied at zero. Nobody won. Does that make us all losers?

Don is Assistant Publisher for Sherman Publications, Inc. He has worked for the company since 1985. He has won numerous awards for column, editorial and feature writing as well as for photography. He has two, sons Shamus and Sean and resides in the area. To read archived copies of his columns, click on his name, just under his picture up top . . . He can be e-mailed at:
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