Don't Rush Me
'And now . . . the rest of the story'
Some epilogues from previous columns some readers have asked about
November 24, 2010 - Lickity-split and just like that we are knee-deep into the holiday season. Hot damn and pass the eggnog!
I love this time of year . . . it is not even Thanksgiving yet, and I have Christmas music playing (softly, as not to bum out the rest of the staff here at the paper) on my computer. Picked up a new CD at the library, "Christmas With The Rat Pack." Pretty swingin' with Sammy Davis, Jr., Dean Martin and Frank Sinatra.
So, as I write this week, I am in a grand mood. At the time of writing, Thanksgiving is a week away. The Lions haven't embarrassed themselves in front of the rest of the nation, nor have they broken their fans' hearts with a close-but-no-cigar-loss.
Things are good . . . Dino is crooning, "What do I care how much it may storm? I've got my love to keep me warm."
The late radio commentator Paul Harvey used to have a segment called, "The Rest of The Story." He'd tell prologues to stories. To honor him, here are some epilogues from previous columns some readers have asked about.
1. Your Hero (Me) And His Health, published September 8. That week I shared with readers, this:
"So, a few weeks ago I went to my family doctor — Maria — who I actually went to high school with, and sometime between turning my head and coughing and getting probed, it was suggested I need to rethink what it is to live a healthy life.
"Sometime after I made the crude comment to the effect, 'too bad we didn't get together like this in high school' and exiting her office, Maria told me, get this, I was 'overweight.'
"I know, this "shocking" news wasn't really of the earth shattering, stop the presses variety. Until she threw in this stupid little word, 'obese.'"
A few weeks later, I got together with Clarkston area resident, Gary Zirwes, health-coach & Nutrilite representative. As of today, I have dropped 21 pounds. (Just in time to plump up again for the holidays? Stay tuned.)
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2. Dangblabit Jim! Someone Swiped My Stuff (and other stuff), published October 6. Karma reared its head and I reported, "I went home found while I was at work, being a productive member of society, someone (or someone's) entered my dwelling and stole stuff. . . . and, gulp, my 1974 bronze Star Trek Lives! medallion."
Well, just this past week I sent in my "victim's" statement to the county prosecutor's office. They busted a couple of teens who'd been running rampant. Court date is sometime in the future. Oh, and my stuff . . . sold, gone, but not forgotten.
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3. The Run For Michigan Governorship (Oct. 13) & Michigander Accepted, Don't Make It Right, published Oct. 20. On these two successive weeks, I whined about the improper use (in my opinion) of the term "Michigander" to describe us, Michiganians. I didn't like the fact the then guberuatorial candidates both used the derogatory term. Well, just this past Sunday, the gov.-elect, was quoted again as saying, "Michigander."
You see the "pull" I have.
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4. Sometimes It Pays To Listen, published November 3. This week, I gave notice like this: "Goodrich Village Council and Administration get out your highlighters and take notes, you're getting called out."
Since, a number of things have happened. Two members of council were tossed out of office; the village ordinance enforcer resigned; the village attorney was fired; and . . . the new words of wisdom are these: The only thing worse than a sore loser is a crappy winner.
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5. Sunday A.M. Commercials Ain't What They Used To Be, published Nov. 16. Here, I lamented the showing of a bra commercial on ABC Detroit affiliate, WXYZ Channel 7, on Sunday morning. Wrote I:
"Oogles of ample bosomed women sporting eye-catching colored brassieres flashed before us . . . which is nothing to be ashamed of or to get worked up over . . . but THEN, the fetching women started working their hands over their ample bosoms saying things like:
'My eyes are up here.'
'No torpedoes here.'
'When the girls are happy, I'm happy."'
I was stunned and had to answer questions from 10-year-old son, Sean. When said son read the accounts in my column, he just looked at me and raised his eyebrows and smiled. I guess he was unphased. I am still mentally scarred.
Since, we spend more time reading the Sunday newspapers.
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Don is Assistant Publisher for Sherman Publications, Inc. He has worked for the company since 1985. He has won numerous awards for column, editorial and feature writing as well as for photography. He has two, sons Shamus and Sean and resides in the area. To read archived copies of his columns, click on his name, just under his picture up top . . . He can be e-mailed at: firstname.lastname@example.org