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Don't Rush Me

It's really December? Already? Yikes.

Don's least favorite Christmas songs

December 01, 2010 - By the time this column hits the streets, the first week in December, 2010 will be in full swing. That means it's only a few short weeks to Christmas.

And, that means I am still on track for gift purchasing to take place in about 22 days. Which means if I can save a dollar a day til then, I'll have about 22 bucks to splurge with. And, I wonder why my kids call me the cheapest dad "EVER." It's the thought that counts, right? That's the theory I'm bankin' on anyway.

That said, went to Olde World Canterbury Village (Always Christmas) in Orion this past Sunday and while I always enjoy looking at Christmas trees, Christmas lights and Christmas ornaments, there are actually a few things I don't like about Christmas (which has nothing at all to do with Olde World Canterbury Village, except that it is always Christmas there.)

And, that there are some things I don't like about Christmas, kinda bums me out. I love Christmas. I love the idea of peace on Earth, good will to all. I love the idea that a soul was born to save us all.

I don't like these Christmas songs. (How's that for a transition?)

1. (Simply having a) Wonderful Christmastime by Paul McCartney. This song drives me to say Bah! Humbug! Just typing it I can hear its synthesized repetitiveness. Arrggg! That melody will haunt my dreams forever.

2. Do They Know It's Christmas, by all those British and Irish recording artists singing for BandAid. (BandAid was the band formed in the mid-1980s for this one song. Their goal was to raise fund to help famine-devastated Ethiopia.) While I know it was for a worthy cause, whenever I hear this song, I want to tell all those obscenely rich folk to stop trying guilt me into giving more. Did somebody just all me Ebenezer?

3. The Christmas Shoes, by (and I didn't know the artist and had to look it up) Newsong (whoever they are). This song kinda reminds me of that Roy Orbinson song, Pretty Paper, about a poor little girl who sells paper flowers, and freezes to death. (Or was that the Bobby Darin song Artificial Flowers?) The Christmas Shoes is about a kid who wants to buy shoes for his mom, who is dying. It is a sad song. Call me a sap, but I don't like to cry on Christmas. Or, you can just call me Scrooge.

Ten-year-old son o'mine Sean, and I were conversing on the way home from the grocery store this past Saturday. And, as the truck's radio was dialed into all Christmas songs, all the time . . . the topic of Christmas songs we don't like, came up. (Blame Sean, it's all his fault.)

We agreed on Sir Paul McCartney's mistake. He added to the mix, the other Beatle, John Lennon's holiday hit, Happy Xmas (War is Over). I hadn't thought of that song, but Sean said the reason he didn't like it, was the same reason I didn't like McCarntey's holiday horror . . . repetitiveness. Like father, like son I guess. (Hopefully, his taste in music is the only thing he gets from me.)

I also don't like any thing Christmas from the Beach Boys (summertime surfer dude music doesn't translate well to winter time fun), Trans Siberian Orchestra (again, synthesized muzak doesn't sit well with me), Barbara Streisand (her politics bums me out), and stuff from female singers like Mariah Carey, who try to impress listeners by showing the wide range of their voices. You know what I'm talking about, don't you? Their voices go up and down and all around a note, except hitting the note. I don't know what that singing style is called, all I know is whenever I hear it, I scream at the radio, "Shoot that damned cat, stop skinning it!" It makes Sean laugh.

* * *

Well, I am glad I got that out. No need in keeping all that negativity bottled-up inside, when I can dump it on you all. Thanks, I feel better. And, if you want to share with me your negative Christmastime thoughts, do it. Get it out before the holidays so you too can enjoy them to the max!

Email your Christmastime negativities to me and we'll get 'em in print: don@dontrushmedon.com

Don is Assistant Publisher for Sherman Publications, Inc. He has worked for the company since 1985. He has won numerous awards for column, editorial and feature writing as well as for photography. He has two, sons Shamus and Sean and resides in the area. To read archived copies of his columns, click on his name, just under his picture up top . . . He can be e-mailed at: don@dontrushmedon.com
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