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Phil In The Blank


Phil in the Blank A column by Phil Custodio


Color aplenty



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February 09, 2011 - This edition marks our second color Clarkston News, with twice as many color pages as last month.

Valentine's Day theme this month, with flowers aplenty on the front and a mushy feature on the Garavaglias (the middle "G" is silent) inside. I love the colors – red, green, pink, purples of the flowers, snowboarders' green and purple jackets, red wet suits of the ice divers.

Next month's looks to feature a lot of green. Any St. Patrick's or other ideas, contact me at 248-625-3370 or email Clarkstonnews@gmail.com.

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Favorite Super Bowl commercial: a driver narrowly misses a beaver, which shows its appreciation months later by cutting down a tree, preventing him from driving onto a washed out bridge, saving his life. Warms my heart to see a beaver showing proper gratitude.

Weirdest Super Bowl commercial: increasingly fantastic beings fight over a car, from corrupt policeman to supervillain to god of the sea to aliens, and finally via space warp to the ancient Aztecs. Apparently all the Aztecs' human sacrifice worked – they got themselves a new car, appearing at the top of the temple pyramid, down the blood soaked steps past the pile of bodies just off screen.

Least favorite commercial (though not from the Super Bowl): airline passenger complains of a sore back, stewardess offers him aspirin, he says he's not having a heart attack – his back hurts. This means the aspirin company's recent heart-attack?-use-our-pills ad campaign was so successful people forgot aspirin is supposed to relieve pain.

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As presidential campaigning for 2012 starts, I think we should ask candidates if they like this country. If they answer something like, "well, I like what it could be," or "if it became what I want it to be, then I'd like it," we should kick them to the curb. They should run for president of a country they like. There are lots of countries that aren't like us. They should run in one of those countries.

They should also ask them to pronounce the word "Taliban." If it comes out "Tolly-bon," to the curb they go. If a leader can't be trusted not to concede their own language to the enemy, what can they be trusted with?

Phil is editor for The Clarkston News. He is a veteran of the first Iraq war, having served in the U.S. Army.
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