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Jim's Jottings


Their lower 'regions' aren't really that low



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February 16, 2011 - Occasionally, ideas for columns are abundant, and sometimes there are only mental blanks. At those times (like now) I often refer back to my early life.

Back to the days of backhouses, miles of up-hill walking through several feet of snow to 1-room schools and Mother's treatments for maladies

Some of the following would be R-rated a few years ago, but nowadays actors and actresses rip their clothes off at the first hello, imaginations aren't needed to make points and script writers make us think words of over four letters are unacceptable.

So, back to home treatments. Very often the procedure involved enemas. A red hot water bottle always hung on the inside of the toilet door. We were to get bathrooms years later.

That long, rubber tube with the shut-off valve is imbedded in my mind. The "bottle" was a treatment for cold sores, ingrown toe nails, coughs and even stomach disorders.

Hot water bottles were also often used for bed warming on very cold nights.

I don't recall our ever having one in our married life, and I wondered to a pharmacist about their current popularity. Oh, yes, said she, they still sell a fair number of them,

Then this pharmacist, who I don't know, I'll call Patty, continued, "We also sell quite a few doughnuts, you know the foam ones. I guess the lower regions are having hard times."

Television programs would likely be more specific.

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Commercials for Super Bowls often seem to get more attention than the game. I watched a few this year, and heard reviews of many.

There was an adv for Pepsi that drew particular attention for its hint of racism, and for exceptional thought and daring. That's by the expert watchers, not me.

But, that review was still in my mind when I read a "Smartphone" advertisement last Friday in The Detroit News.

In my opinion, blonde babes are featured in ads a lot more often than brunettes.

This Smartphone ad had a naturally-very-attractive brunette holding the phone. My mind wondered, why was a brunette chosen for this 2-day only sale of T-Mobile 4G networks product?

Just as a black gal was used for a Pepsi Super Bowl ad for a purpose, a brunette was chosen over blonde for a definite purpose.

Ah, those politically sensitive, innuendo, hinting commercial writers.

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To have a membership in the Hiawatha Sportsmans Club in the Upper you, have to own some of its land, in most cases that means a lot. The township office in Engadine notified me of an increase in assessed value. Just $50 dollars. The Club's membership is dropping and sales are down. Yet the taxes are being raised. I think the assessors know how far away we are and know we won't drive 330 miles to fight it.

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Dale Karbginsky sent some questions he promises will haunt me. Like:

What disease did cured ham actually have?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in," while it's only a "penny for your thoughts?" Where's that extra penny going to?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the car-pool lane?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face, he gets made at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?.

Jim Sherman, Sr. is president of Sherman Publications, Inc. He has penned "Jim's Jottings" since 1955.
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