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Jim's Jottings


Times, thoughts - they are a'changing



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September 14, 2011 - One of the first things I've noticed during this aging thing, are the commercials I'm paying attention to on the tube.

I'm no longer interested in removing the gray from my hair, nor wrinkle removers. Cialis and Viagra ads aren't even consciously observed.

Clothes styles, my lowering belt line, receding hair line, stretch socks, Rolex watches, fast cars and flying are very unimportant.

It's our "think ahead" time. I was reminded of that this week with a cold-call asking me to call for funeral arrangements.

I'm not that old, but I am old enough to wonder about a "home" hiring more outside work done and continence.

That's right. Or, incontinence.

There aren't that many ads out there for those sufferers, but they make an aging person think.

One of my thoughts at an after-golf session was: How much liquid do these adult diapers hold? Daughter Luan wanted the subject to change quickly, so she got out her ipad (iphone), whatever.

(They should think about changing the name of that thing. Pads have different meanings, you know?)

She reported a Contour Tranquil Top Liner Super Plus Pad holds 27.5 ounces.

If, as Hazel would remind me, "a pint's a pound the year around" then this pad holds a pint and a half of liquid. That's a lot of liquid to have hanging from your waist.

I decided to see what these packages look like, so I bought a brand named "Depend." That must be like Kodak or Xerox. A brand name fits all.

This Depend came in a package of 16 and cost $11.99. The directions are: "Step in and slip off."

Also, dispose in trash can, do not flush.

Depend is a continence management product of Kimberly Clark. I like that: continence management product.

So, if you have lost your self restraint, which I haven't yet, and want more answers, call 1-800-558-6433 or depend.com.

I just know daughter Luan is going to be happy seeing her name involved in this research.

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Besides saluting labor on Labor Day, we also proclaim this to be the beginning of another political season, not that there is more than one season a year.

Are you ready for more phrases like:

"I can honestly tell you,"

"We must put politics aside."

"We've got to quit playing politics."

And this one from Obama spokesman Carney, "Trust me!"

Meaningless stuff to fill a time frame and totally ineffective.

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• There are currently 80,000 pages in the Obamacare package and it's still being written.

• It was reported that 50 percent of the police time in Detroit is on paperwork.

• May I direct your attention to something interesting. "Happyfeet," the penguin, brought on shore in New Zealand three weeks ago, was released last week and is now expected to swim 1,000 miles home. She has a chip in her to keep us informed of her progress.

• Expect Congress to pass legislation approving such chips for newborn children.

• Ever feel like you're being led by the wrong leash?

Jim Sherman, Sr. is president of Sherman Publications, Inc. He has penned "Jim's Jottings" since 1955.
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