Source: Sherman Publications

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Don't Rush Me
Dunk Don?
You have your chance to exact your revenge and help a worther cause, Homes for Our Troops

by Don Rush

July 20, 2011

A while back either Shari or Stephani from Bonnie & Clyde Boutique (aka, Clarkston Flower Shoppe) e-mailed me. One of them wanted to know if I knew of anybody who would be a good draw for a charity dunk tank event.

I listed some people I thought would be good, including Kid Rock cuz they sell the Kid's clothing line and he lives two minutes from their store. Oh and, ha, ha, ha, if all else fails I'd do it, too.

Well, I opened my big fat mouth, totally ignoring a rule I implemented just this year which clearly states, "When I open my mouth I am to quickly stuff a sock in it." Now I am one of the folks who's slated to be dunked, August 6, in Clarkston. Who the other suckers are, I don't know, nor do I care. This is my column. It's all about me, baby!

The event benefits soldiers who return stateside physically handicapped. In particular a group called, Home For Our Troops. Here's what I have found out about that outfit . . .

Homes for Our Troops is a "national nonprofit, nonpartisan 5021(c)(3) organization that was founded in 2004." They raise money, building materials and professional labor to build homes for the servicemen and women and their immediate family that "provides maximum freedom of movement and the ability to move more independently."

They have helped over 100 veterans to date.

The event is called the Annual Backyard Jam (to benefit Homes for Our Troops) and is from 4 p.m. to 8 on that Saturday. According to Shari, they hope to have three bands perform throughout the day, local food vendors, popcorn, ice cream and more. Bonnie & Clyde is located on the east side of M-15, just south of the I-75 exit.

So I say to all you folks, who over the last few years have called me many things other than the name Mom and Dad gave me, come on out and get even. This is your chance to Dunk Don.

You didn't like my column on bicyclists making things scary on the road ways? Well, Don your groovy looking helmet, neon-color spandex and peddle your butt on down. Dunk me, I dare you.

If you didn't like me telling you you were wrong to call Michigan residents "Michiganders," stop honking like a goose and fly on over. Dunk me, I dare you.

If you think I have been insensitive to all your elected and appointed officials by writing my opinions on their actions and comments, show your undying loyalty to these government "workers" by throwing a ball at a little round disk and dunk me. I dare you.

If you have written me, called me, e-mailed or just told your friends and loved ones, "That Don Rush is a bigoted-fascist-leaning, knuckle-dragging, puddin-brained, egotistical half wit, who makes too many typos, and I hate him, too," put your money where your mouth is and exact your revenge.

I know you are out there, you haters of my thought-process. I am calling you out. Don't be a wussy!

I try to stay under the radar and move silently in the shadows of your town, slithering from one dark, dank space to another -- never showing my face for fear of reprisals.

Now I am giving you all the chance to take out your aggressions and give it to me but good! And, you can feel good about it because it's a good cause.

I warn you, get there early. I have three younger sisters, who, upon hearing the news, are pooling their money and practicing their throws as I type. They may buy lots of opportunity to dunk their dear old, older brother. (There is even a rumor that my own sons and my very own, saintly mother are warming up in the bullpin.)

If you see the statue (pictured with Shari) you know you are at the right spot. If you want more information, call their store phone number at 248-625-1399.