Source: Sherman Publications

Jim's Jottings
Toads and I are a lot alike: we jump a lot

by Jim Sherman, Sr.

June 01, 2011

ē The worst idea ever for financing education is gambling. But since Lansingís brightest have adopted it, isnít it reasonable to put it in the required curriculum with math, science and English? Then use the acronym GEMS (Gambling, English, Math, Science.)

ē I bought myself a lift chair. Now my television watching requires me to have a tv clicker, chair control and phone. But my coordination is such that when the phone rings, I either lift myself or change channels.

ē Everybody knows we can age, but not mature. Granddaughter Karen turned 23 recently, lives in Colorado, climbs walls, teaches skiing, helps people select decorating tile and has taken up long-boarding. Apparently she needs more activity in her life. Her new beverage is vodka and the energy drink, Red Bull.

ē What did baseball players do to stall between pitches before velcro? Now, before they step into the box and after each pitch, they adjust the tightness of their gloves. Ah, for the good old gloveless days, when scratching and spitting filled voids.

ē The do-gooders, world savers and greenies have achieved one of their goals in baseball: Seldom are players seen with cuds of tobacco in their jaw or bunches of snuff between their lower lip and gum. Of course, this ďimprovementĒ hasnít upped batting averages or given us more 20-game winners. So, whatís the gain?

* * *

Now for some more serious stuff. When Jehovahís Witnesses come to your door, usually Saturdays, what do they really want?

Converts? Biblical enlightenment? Money? All the above?

Recently the knock came as I was about to eat. They said they just wanted to talk to me about Timothy, Chapter 3: 1-3. I offered no money, they showed no Watchtower.

Shortly after WWI, my dad took to the Jehovahís Witness faith. I have his Bible. I looked up Timothy. Dad had marked off the Chapter and verses in ink.

The chapter title is, ďImpending Evil times.Ē Iíll only quote a little: ďMen shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, traitors, without natural affection, etc.Ē

That gave me several sleepless hours that night. Why did these Witnesses point this out to me? Do they read my Jottings and find these faults in my writing?

More thinking. If itís in the Bible, that means it was written many years ago, and maybe applied to various times since.

Thatís gotta be it. Donít take it personally, Jim. Couldnít we relate these conclusions to every generation; the Hippies, the post-Korean War demonstrators, other civil unrests?

Then I thought of the growing free-living days after WWI and the pre-economic collapse years in the 1930s.

Which brought to me this thought: Were the Witnesses pointing out Timothy Chapter 3: 1-3 during the Depression as they toured neighborhoods?

Letís donít stay negative, Jim. Iíve been told numerous times the Bible is all inclusive, has something for everybody and every situation.

Itís often been said we grow closer to God and the Bible as we mature in our Golden Years. Itís true with me. Right now Iím often repeating the words of the song ďAmazing GraceĒ and the 23rd Psalm.

Itís more reliable than Ambien sloping pills.