Source: Sherman Publications

Jim's Jottings
A column of quotes, misquotes & anecdotes

by Jim Sherman, Sr.

June 13, 2012

• More and more drivers seem to have time to put their hand on the horn, but no time to put their foot on the brake.

• Bob Warnke says: “What ever fluffs your sail.” I thought it was “whatever floats your boat.”

• I should add up the time and money ma’dog Shayna has saved me by her cleaning my plate instead of me using the dish washer.

• Read any Bounty paper towel rolls lately? Like: You can bury a lot of troubles digging in the dirt. Friends are flowers in life’s garden. No two days are the same, no two gardens the same. Gardening is a way of showing you believe in tomorrow.

• Every spring we plant two geraniums in the planter by Hazel’s tombstone. Within a week they were gone, but on the ground was a small 3-tined digger.

- - - 0 - - -

For 17 months in 1947-48, I was a confined to a sanitarium in Lansing with Tuberculosis. Hazel and I started dating seriously in 1946, and each weekend starting in May 1947 she took the bus to Lansing to visit me.

A gal of Hazel’s age came from Alma each weekend to visit her husband, and Hazel and Luan Hercik became close friends.

One visit I asked Hazel to bring me a hot dog. She did that several evenings, handing them to me through a window.

Then one night Hazel handed me a live toad. I liked to have died. The two girls laughed heartily. I’d never handled a toad and never will. Hazel thought them cute playthings.

- - - 0 - - -

• When our American flag is displayed as a lapel pin, it should be worn on the left lapel, near the heart.

• The U. S. flag, adopted on June 14, 1777, is the fourth oldest national flag in the world. Denmark’s flag, adopted in 1219, is the oldest.

A flag expert is called a “vexillologist.”

- - - 0 - - -

The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.

- - - 0 - - -

Garrison Keillor, host of the radio show “A Prairie Home Companion,” put this one in his joke book:

Mahatma Gandhi walked barefoot every where, to the point that the soles of his feet became quite thick and hard.

Being a very spiritual person, he ate very little and often fasted. As a result, he was quite thin and frail. Furthermore, due to his diet, he ended up with very bad breath.

(Ready?)

Therefore, he came to be known as a super calloused, fragile mystic plagued with halitosis.

- - - 0 - - -

When television news reporters are about to show war scenes or bad accidents, they often say, “Some of these pictures may be disturbing. You may want to avoid them.”

I think that all tv political news reporting between now and November should have this same warning.