Source: Sherman Publications

Don't Rush Me
Itís December? Already? Yikes. Time for negativity, then.

by Don Rush

December 04, 2013

By the time this column hits the streets, the first week in December, 2013 will be in full swing. That means itís only a few short weeks to Christmas.

And, that means I am still on track for gift purchasing to take place in about 21 days. Which means if I can save a dollar a day til then, Iíll have about 21 bucks to splurge with. And, I wonder why my kids call me the cheapest dad ďEVER.Ē Itís the thought that counts, right? Thatís the theory Iím bankiní on anyway.

That said, went to Olde World Canterbury Village (Always Christmas) in Orion and while I always enjoy looking at Christmas trees, Christmas lights and Christmas ornaments, there are actually a few things I donít like about Christmas (which has nothing at all to do with Olde World Canterbury Village, except that it is always Christmas there.)

And, that there are some things I donít like about Christmas, kinda bums me out. I love Christmas. I love the idea of peace on Earth, good will to all. I love the idea that a soul was born to save us all.

I donít like these Christmas songs. (Howís that for a transition?)

1. (Simply having a) Wonderful Christmastime by Paul McCartney. This song drives me to say Bah! Humbug! Just typing it I can hear its synthesized repetitiveness. Arrggg! That melody will haunt my dreams forever.

2. Do They Know Itís Christmas, by all those British and Irish recording artists singing for BandAid. (BandAid was the band formed in the mid-1980s for this one song. Their goal was to raise fund to help famine-devastated Ethiopia.) While I know it was for a worthy cause, whenever I hear this song, I want to tell all those obscenely rich folk to stop trying guilt me into giving more.

Did somebody just all me Ebenezer?

3. The Christmas Shoes, by (and I didnít know the artist and had to look it up) Newsong (whoever they are). This song kinda reminds me of that Roy Orbinson song, Pretty Paper, about a poor little girl who sells paper flowers, and freezes to death. (Or was that the Bobby Darin song Artificial Flowers?) The Christmas Shoes is about a kid who wants to buy shoes for his mom, who is dying.

It is a sad song. Call me a sap, but I donít like to cry on Christmas. Or, you can just call me Scrooge.

Thirteen-year-old son oímine Sean, and I were conversing on the way home from the grocery store one past Saturday. And, as the truckís radio was dialed into all Christmas songs, all the time . . . the topic of Christmas songs we donít like, came up. (Blame Sean, itís all his fault.)

We agreed on Sir Paul McCartneyís mistake. He added to the mix, the other Beatle, John Lennonís holiday hit, Happy Xmas (War is Over). I hadnít thought of that song, but Sean said the reason he didnít like it, was the same reason I didnít like McCarnteyís holiday horror . . . repetitiveness. Like father, like son I guess. (Hopefully, his taste in music is the only thing he gets from me.)

I also donít like any thing Christmas from the Beach Boys (summertime surfer dude music doesnít translate well to winter time fun), Trans Siberian Orchestra (again, synthesized muzak doesnít sit well with me), Barbara Streisand (her politics bums me out), and stuff from female singers like Mariah Carey, who try to impress listeners by showing the wide range of their voices. You know what Iím talking about, donít you?

Their voices go up and down and all around a note, except hitting the note. I donít know what that singing style is called, all I know is whenever I hear it, I scream at the radio, ďShoot that damned cat, stop skinning it!Ē It makes Sean laugh.

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Well, I am glad I got that out. No need in keeping all that negativity bottled-up inside, when I can dump it on you all. Thanks, I feel better. And, if you want to share with me your negative Christmastime thoughts, do it. Get it out before the holidays so you too can enjoy them to the max!

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If you have comments, concerns, suggsetions to get in the spirit of things or any other ideas for Mr. Faleece Navinot Don, please e-mail Don@ShermanPublications.org.